Put Yourself in Your
Shoes. The first step is to understand your worthiest opponent, yourself. It is
all too common to fall into the trap of continually judging yourself. The
challenge instead is to do the opposite and listen empathetically for underlying
needs, just as you would with a valued partner or client.
Develop Your Inner
BATNA. Almost all of us find it difficult not to blame others with whom we come
into conflict. The challenge is to do the opposite and to take responsibility
for your life and relationships. More specifically, it is to develop your inner
BATNA (Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement), to make a commitment to
yourself to take care of your needs independently of what the other does or
does not do.
Reframe Your Picture.
A natural fear of scarcity exists in almost everyone. The challenge is to
change how you see your life, creating your own independent and sufficient
source of contentment. It is to see life as being on your side even when it
Stay in the Zone. It
is so easy in the midst of conflict to get lost in resentment about the past or
in anxieties about the future. The challenge is to do the opposite and stay in
the present moment, the only place where you have the power to experience true
satisfaction as well as to change the situation for the better.
Respect Them Even If.
It is tempting to meet rejection with rejection, personal attack with personal
attack, exclusion with exclusion. The challenge is to surprise others with
respect and inclusion even if they are difficult.
Give and Receive. It
is all too easy, especially when resources seem scarce, to fall into the
win-lose trap and to focus on meeting only your needs. The final challenge is
to change the game to a win-win-win approach by giving first instead of taking.
How To Tackle The
Problems – Negotiating Yourself
Take Time to think for your problems. even if its sadness or happy, or
be any other emotion dont hide it take it to public and discuss or if you dont
think they are not mature to understand the problem. analyze yourself – by
thinking of the same isssue and think how to solve it
Jamil Mahuad, former president of Ecuador and a Harvard colleague, once
shared how he gradually learned to deal with his painful feelings by putting
these feelings in the spotlight. “Sadness . . . was not well received
by males in my family. When some of my ancestors were really sad, they averted
that emotion by expressing anger,” he explained. “I had the same difficulty.
Still it is not easy for me to connect with pain, with grief. But by
recognizing and bringing this shadow to light, you start incorporating that
‘new’ part into what you are.”